I don’t like Christmas.

I don’t like the forced merriment.

I don’t like the tacky commercial cheer.

I don’t like the supposed meaning behind it.

I don’t like the memories I have of Christmas. I don’t like the people I think about during Christmas. I don’t like the sounds or smells or tastes of Christmas.

Please stop shoving it in my face.

Please don’t assume that I don’t have a good reason to dislike it.

Please don’t try and convince me that I have to justify my dislike for anything to you.

I hate Christmas.

Saying ‘Merry Christmas’ to me is like asking me to bow my head for a prayer, or nod along politely to a senile relative’s racist tirades. I’m forced to reciprocate. Since explaining something means I have to spend more time with you, more energy on words you won’t understand, I have to smile and repeat those two stupid little words and pretend that I actually mean them.

But, since you asked…

I associate Christmas with a lot of things.

I associate it with my failed attempts to get my family even mildly interested in ‘Christmas traditions’ that my Western schooling told me was ‘good’ and ‘jolly’.

I associate it with the feeling of injustice of having another culture’s beliefs shoved down my throat and painted on my walls.

I associate it with disappointment and loneliness.

I associate it with my parents fighting, with my grandfather dying, with my cousin having a miscarriage, with her husband losing an eye, with my father leaving, with my best friend sending me a letter of all of my faults.

I associate it with pain and bitterness and anger.

So please, don’t wish me a Merry Christmas.

1. sallyslytherin posted this